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Bubba was bragging to his boss one day and said, "You know, I know
everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff and said, "OK, Bubba,
how
about Tom Cruise?"
"Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it."
So, Bubba and his boss flew out to Hollywood and knocked on Tom Cruise's
door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouted, "Bubba! Great to see you!
You
and your friend come right in and join me for lunch! "
Although impressed, Bubba's boss was still skeptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he told Bubba that he thought Bubba's knowing Cruise
was
just lucky.
"No, no, just name anyone else," Bubba said.
"President Clinton," his boss quickly retorted.
"Yes," Bubba said, "I know him. Let's fly out to Washington."
At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour and motions him
and
his boss over, saying, "Bubba, what a surprise! I was just on my way
to a
meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of
coffee
first and catch up."
Well, the boss was very shaken by this point but still not totally
convinced. After they left the White House grounds, he expressed his
doubts to Bubba, who again implored him to name anyone else.
"The Pope," his boss replied.
"Sure!" said Bubba. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known the Pope
a
long time."
So, off they flew to Rome. Bubba and his boss were assembled with the
masses in Vatican Square when Bubba said, "This will never work. I
can't catch
the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the
guards,
so let me just go upstairs, and I'll come out on the balcony with the
Pope."
He disappeared into the crowd and headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough,
half an hour later Bubba emerged with the Pope on the balcony. But,
by the time
Bubba returned to his boss, his boss had had a heart attack and was
surrounded by paramedics.
Working his way to his boss' side, Bubba asked him, "What happened?"
His boss looked up and said, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope
came
out on the balcony and the man next to me said, 'Who's that on the
balcony
with Bubba?' "