The Woman's Guide to what a Man is really saying......

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

What's wrong = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this

What's wrong? = what meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50. and it doesn't look that much different

(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin dress and let's go home

                 "I'M GOING FISHING"
                 Translated:* "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid and stand by a stream
                 with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

                 "IT'S A GUY THING"
                 Translated:* "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have
                 no chance at all of making it logical".

"CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?"
Translated:* "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR"
Translated:* Absolutely no meaning. It's a conditioned response.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Translated:* "I have no idea how it works."

                 "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON
                 MY
                 MIND."

Translated:* "I was wondering if that redhead over there is wearing a bra."

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated:* "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR."
Translated:* "Are you still talking?"

                 "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS."
                 Translated:* "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first
                 girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever
                 owned, ... but I forgot your birthday."

                 "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE
                 ROSES".
                 Translated:* "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

                 "OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL."
                 Translated:* "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I
                 admit that I'm hurt."

"HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated:* "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."

                 "I CAN'T FIND IT."
                 Translated:* "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely
                 clueless."

"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Translated:* "What did you catch me at?"

                 "I HEARD YOU."
                 Translated:* "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping
                 desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days
                 yelling at me."

"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE."
Translated:* "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse."

"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC."
Translated:* "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving."

"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE."
Translated:* "No one will ever see us alive again."

"WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK."
Translated:* "I make the messes, she cleans them up."

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