This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde
jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show
her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off
at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the
house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells
the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds
his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is
wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and
asks her if she is ok.
She replies yes. He asks what she is doing. She replies that she wanted
to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do
it by painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over
her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint
can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
A little guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE guy
standing next to him. The big guy sees
the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7
feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle,
3 pound right testicle, Turner Brown." The small guy faints
dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude
kneels down and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking
him. When the little guy finally comes around,
the big guy ask him, "What's wrong with you?" In a very
weak voice the little guy says, "Excuse me, but what
EXACTLY did you say to me?" The big dude said, "I saw
the curious look on your face and figured I'd just
give you the answers to the questions everyone always
asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3
pound left testicle, 3 pound right testicle, and my name
is Turner Brown." "Whew" the small guy says," Thank
God! I thought you said "Turn around."
A man and a woman were driving down the road arguing about his deplorable
infidelity. Suddenly the woman
reaches over and slices off the man's pecker. Angrily
the woman tosses the pecker out the window of the
car. Driving behind the car is a fella
in a pickup truck with his 10 year old daughter chatting away beside
him.
All of the sudden, the pecker smacks the pickup in the
windshield and flies off. Surprised, the daughter
asks "Daddy what in the heck was that?" Not wanting
to expose his 10 year old daughter to sex at such a
tender age, the father replies, "It was only a bug, honey."
The daughter gets a confused look on her face, and
after a minute she says, "The bug sure had a big dick!"