WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy
accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning label be placed
immediately on all beer containers:
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story
over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened
to your pants.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse
with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu
powers.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and
see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns
on the forehead.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher,
smarter and more handsome than some really, really big guy named FRANZ.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum,
whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally
disappear.
WARNING:
Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy
