The VERY rude bits.............
What is the quickest way to clear out a men's restroom? Say, "Nice dick."
Mom's have Mother's Day, Father's have Father's Day. What do single guys have? Palm Sunday.
Why is being in the military like a blowjob? The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.
What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? Miracle Whip.
What has little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine.
What's the difference between a porcupine and the Whitehouse? The porcupine has pricks on the outside.
Sex is like bridge — you either need a good partner, or a good hand.
A sign in a sperm bank reads, "Men, please take your hat and jacket off."
"95% of people masturbate...the other 5% don't have hands."
"Sorry I'm late for work, boss, but I had to help my Uncle Jack off the horse."
"You masturbate in the shower so much, you get an erection whenever it rains!"
I just flew in from the sperm bank — and boy, are my arms tired!"
