100 Things you really do not want to say in bed

But everybody looks funny naked!

You woke me up for that?

Did I mention the video camera?

Do you smell something burning?

Try breathing through your nose.

A little carpet burn ever hurt anyone!

Did you lock the back door?

But whipped cream makes gives me a rash.

Person 1: This is your first time..right Person 2: Yeah.. today

Can you please pass me the remote control?

Do you accept Visa?

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

On second thought, let's turn off the lights.

And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!

So much for mouth-to-mouth.

(using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?

Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...

(holding a banana) It's just a little trick I learned at the zoo!

Do you get any premium movie channels?

Try not to smear my make-up!!

(preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned
this couch!

Got any penicillin?

But I just brushed my teeth...

Is this your first time?

I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!

I want a baby!

So much for the fulfilment of sexual fantasies!

(in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?

Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth...

Is that you bleeding or me?

Did you know the ceiling needs painting?

I think you have it on backwards.

When is this supposed to feel good?

Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!

You're good enough to do this for a living!

Is that blood on the headboard?

Did I remember to take my pill?

Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?

I wish we got the Playboy channel...

That leak better be from the waterbed!

I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!

But my cat always sleeps on that pillow..

Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?

If you quit smoking you might have more endurance..

No, really... I do this part better myself!

It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!

This would be more fun with a few more people..

Did you just come?

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